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Thursday, September 14, 2006

Vengeance Stings

I saw this headline and proved that I may be a heartless person, as my first reaction was to burst into uncontrollable laughter.

Headline: Stingray mutilations prompt Irwin vengeance fears.

Common, that's a little funny. Aussies are taking vengeance on all stingrays because one killed the only famous Australian. Actually there are a few famous Australians (some friends and I came up with a few the other day). Kylie Minogue is Australian. So is the guy who played Crocodile Dundee. I think we came up with some more famous people but they seem to be forgettable.

I'm not going to lie, I don't think I had heard of this guy before he died, and now his death is getting avenged. Up to 11 innocent stingrays have been murdered in cold blood and mutilated. I'm surprised the UN isn't trying to pin some "crimes against ray-manity" charges on the Aussies. This is a hate crime, after all. If we don't do something, we could be telling our children about "The Great Stingray Genocide of '06". I feel very strongly about this. I think I'm going to protest. Maybe I'll go on a hunger strike. No, I like to eat; I'm going to boycott surfing and shell necklaces.

Damn, what will I wear to and do at the beach now.


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